Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

Tag: Dominance

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BDSM Advice and Education

Defining 24/7 and TPE

I would describe my dynamic as 24/7 TPE. This is often misunderstood, so I thought I’d attempt a definition.  First things first, it is worth nothing ’24/7′ and ‘TPE’ are two separate (although naturally interlinked) concepts. 24/7 refers to a dynamic in which there is no ‘off switch’. This means

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Memories

Making Him Ask for Punishment

Here’s a psychological experiment from fairly early on in our dynamic. ‘Turn your head,’ I said. He stared at me, side eyed and unmoving. I eyed him with mounting disapproval. ‘I’ll give you one more chance. Turn. Your. Head.’ Nothing. He was afraid I would bite him, leaving those blotchy

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On Sadism: The Smile

There is a smile I smile whenever I am in a sadistic vein. I can’t help it. It’s entirely involuntary. I can just feel my face doing it. I have tried to stop it. It’s impossible. My face is just set on doing it. I thought about it somewhat today,

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‘Can I be your sub?’

This particularly inane question comes in two main variants; either in the opening message, or after a few questions about me, with very little effort to engage with my answers. In short, if you’re asking, then the answer is very probably no. D/s dynamics develop organically, over time. They take

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On Mind Games

I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to explore some of the darker, CNC parts of D/s, which has included quite a lot of rather delicious mind fuckery. The high has been intense and beautiful. It has however proven surprisingly difficult to talk about, because the first question

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Why I Dislike The ‘Narrative of Punishment’

Amongst the huge volume of badly written, presumptuous mental bio-hazards which end up in my inbox, ‘punish me, Mistress‘ is one which crops up exceedingly often. Every time I open a message like this, even before the exasperation manages to catch up to me, is just the thought ‘for what?!’

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‘Ask me anything’

I have been answering quite a large volume of messages recently, and I thought I would write some posts on the things which bother me most often, and why. I would think I am not the only Domme who is bothered by these, but your mileage may vary. ‘Ask me

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Vulnerability

Vulnerability is what, to my mind, defines submission. That is to say, it is the ingredient which elevates a series of acts, be they sexual, or otherwise, from a game to a facet of reality. It is a rather intangible thing and, while this is not my first attempt to

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Sadism

Why A Sadist Won’t ‘Take It Out’ On You

If I happened to mention I am having a bad day in the course of conversation with a potential sub, I can usually expect something along the lines of ‘so take it out on me‘ in reply. I’m sure 9 times out of 10 the sub saying that just wants

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Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a Domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a Domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted

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