Why Submission Is Not A Gift
'Submission is a gift' is more than just a poor analogy - it fundamentally misrepresents the foundations of D/s . Here's why it's high time to consign this tired trope…
I have been answering quite a large volume of messages recently, and I thought I would write some posts on the things which bother me most often, and why. I would think I am not the only Domme who is bothered by these, but your mileage may vary.
‘Ask me anything’ whilst, in itself, a laudable sentiment (which I share), but in my experience, it usually comes about three messages into the conversation, and that is what makes it irksome, because… Well, someone tell me what normal human conversation goes like this:
‘Hello’
‘Hi’
‘Ask me anything’
A vast number of exchanges I had before I stopped replying to messages which just say ‘hi’
What this tends to indicate is that the person in question is fishing for my list of specific requirements. If I had a list of requirements pertaining to physical characteristics or a specific scenario I’m after, I would just put it in my ad. Seriously. It would make my life considerably easier.
Unfortunately, what I look for is somewhat more elusive – intelligence, a sense of humour, and a genuine desire for submission. There’s only one way to see if someone has any of those qualities, and that’s normal, human conversation.
Which brings me to my second issue with this – it usually means the person in question is completely missing the point. What I want from an introductory conversation is something interesting about *the other person*. I want a joke, a bad pun, a story of something inane which happened the other day. A random fact, a thing they read, I don’t know… a picture of a stack of toads (yes, that’s a thing, no, please don’t now flood me with pictures of toads). I want a little bit of creativity. I want something that makes me want to engage further with that person.
Interrogating random people who have just said ‘hello’ to me isn’t my idea of fun, and quite frankly, given that most of these come from people whose opening messages are filled with various flavours of sub speak about ‘serving’ and ‘worshipping’ me, I would hope a moment of thought wouldn’t be that much to ask for.
