Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

On Mind Games

I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to explore some of the darker, CNC parts of D/s, which has included quite a lot of rather delicious mind fuckery. The high has been intense and beautiful.

It has however proven surprisingly difficult to talk about, because the first question I have been asked by quite a few people is ‘what did you do to him?’. Now, when I came to think of what I did, the series of acts itself seemed… unimpressive. What had formed a beautifully powerful experience for the two of us put into black and white seems mundane and dull.

This is largely because D/s and the consequent exchange of power doesn’t lie in acts at all, but rather the mental space in and around those acts. As a dominant, if you can understand your submissive, their psychology, and their ‘buttons’, you can do far more than control their body – you can control their mind. This, from any perspective, is much more powerful, but is perhaps best illustrated like this – it is very difficult to make any physical restraint desperate person proof. It is far easier to ensure they don’t really try to escape in the first place.

Miss Rosa

Miss Rosa

I'm a lifestyle domme - D/s is my ‘normal’. It's an integral part of who and how I am. This blog contains BDSM advice, memories, rants, rambles, and answers to the questions which rock up in my inbox over and over. If you have any thoughts, do leave a comment!

1 thought on “On Mind Games”

  1. I think this is one of your best posts…and so true. I am reminded of the story of the mahout and the elephant. The mahout might tie the shackle around the foot of the elephant to a wooden stake in the ground, one which the elephant could easily pull free if it just gave a little tug, but it does not, for the elephant has submitted.

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I’m a lifestyle domme. This is a place for my writing and reflections on kink, lifestyle D/s, and the endless stream of nonsense in my inbox. 

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