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Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

I'm a lifestyle domme. These are my thoughts. /fin

Okay, but somewhat more seriously, dominance has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Long before I really knew what it was. I pursued D/s as soon as I could and now have a 24/7 TPE dynamic . Over the years, I've written articles, guides, created resources and other bits and put them in one place. And you've found it.

Have a browse, have a read and do have fun.

Effective Punishments for Subs: A Comprehensive Guide for BDSM Dynamics

March 16, 2025

A comprehensive guide to effective punishments for subs: from exploring the role of submissive punishment to a step-by-step on how to set effective protocol, this guide covers all the bases.

Maintenance Spanking: Why & How To Add It To Your Relationship

November 14, 2023

A quick guide, covering the FAQs around maintenance spanking in D/s dynamics, including protocols, intensity levels, how to distinguish maintenance and punishment discipline and practical troubleshooting.

flat lay photography of eight coffee latte in mugs on round table

Why Male Chastity Is Not A Femdom Essential

September 27, 2023

Chastity is often framed as a must-have in femdom dynamics. Have a read and delve into why male chastity really isn't a femdom essential.

Punishment vs Funishment – An Important Distinction

July 24, 2023

Distinguishing punishment vs funishment is not just semantics. It's central to clear communication on a topic which is the backbone of power exchange dynamics.

Quick Thoughts

Posts closer to the style of a conventional 'blog' than my usual articles - rough sketches of ideas, posted with minimal editing and review, possibly to be revisited at some later date. Written mostly for my own peace of mind, but feel free to tag along for the ride.

Trust is Not a Binary

July 27, 2025

This is something I have been wanting to get a proper article together on for a while and will probably write up properly at some point, but in the meanwhile,…

A New Format: Shorter Form, Rough Posts

July 27, 2025

I have taken a break from posting for a couple of years, although not from writing itself. I have folders and notebooks full of sketches of thoughts, tangled bits and…

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Why Submission Is Not A Gift

May 29, 2023

'Submission is a gift' is more than just a poor analogy - it fundamentally misrepresents the foundations of D/s . Here's why it's high time to consign this tired trope once and for all.

A sneaker and a high heel - the right level of protocol is like the right footwear for the right occasion.

Low, Medium & High Protocol: Understanding the Levels

May 14, 2023

A quick intro to protocol in BDSM, including a whistle stop tour of high protocol, low protocol and 'medium' protocol.

Male Submission Is Not Weakness

December 22, 2018

The link bewteen submission and weakness has always been present, and the increasing emphasis on ultimate personal autonomy has only strengthened that idea.

Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

December 17, 2018

Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted…