Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

Tag: Submissives

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BDSM Advice and Education

The Sub / Domme Ratio

‘The ratio’ of dommes to subs is a myth. So, why do so many male subs claim that finding a domme is impossible?

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Memories

Making Him Ask for Punishment

Here’s a psychological experiment from fairly early on in our dynamic. ‘Turn your head,’ I said. He stared at me, side eyed and unmoving. I eyed him with mounting disapproval. ‘I’ll give you one more chance. Turn. Your. Head.’ Nothing. He was afraid I would bite him, leaving those blotchy

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Why I Dislike The ‘Narrative of Punishment’

Amongst the huge volume of badly written, presumptuous mental bio-hazards which end up in my inbox, ‘punish me, Mistress‘ is one which crops up exceedingly often. Every time I open a message like this, even before the exasperation manages to catch up to me, is just the thought ‘for what?!’

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‘Ask me anything’

I have been answering quite a large volume of messages recently, and I thought I would write some posts on the things which bother me most often, and why. I would think I am not the only Domme who is bothered by these, but your mileage may vary. ‘Ask me

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Vulnerability

Vulnerability is what, to my mind, defines submission. That is to say, it is the ingredient which elevates a series of acts, be they sexual, or otherwise, from a game to a facet of reality. It is a rather intangible thing and, while this is not my first attempt to

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Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a Domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a Domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted

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