Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

Tag: Kink

BDSM Advice and Education

Why ‘Force Me To Submit’ Can Be A Red Flag

‘I need someone to force me to submit’ is yet another sentiment which shows up in my inbox surprisingly often. It has rubbed me the wrong way for as long as I can remember, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. After all, the rhetoric of force weaves itself

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Kink is an umbrella term
BDSM Advice and Education

The Difference Between ‘Kink’ and ‘Fetish’

The words ‘kink’ and ‘fetish’ are often used synonymously. They are however quite distinct. To give you the Cliff Notes – most kinks aren’t fetishes, but fetishes are kinks. When I sat down to this, I found a few conflicting definitions. So, in the interests of clarity, I had a

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Underground Lake
Sadism

Why A Sadist Won’t ‘Take It Out’ On You

If I happened to mention I am having a bad day in the course of conversation with a potential sub, I can usually expect something along the lines of ‘so take it out on me‘ in reply. I’m sure 9 times out of 10 the sub saying that just wants

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Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a Domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a Domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted

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Biting

I love biting, so hard that I leave teeth marks all over his body. Mine. But not by force. I want him to offer, to ask me to sink my teeth into his perfect body. I want to hear him make those adorable little pain noises, whilst he begs me

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Offering

As much as I enjoy forcing things, grabbing, pinning, digging my nails in, there is something special about when he offers himself to me. There is nothing quite as electric as the words ‘please hit me harder, Mistress’, when they are freely given and truly meant. It sends shivers down

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Just A Little Expectation

Everyone has unrealistic expectations of any dynamic (and any relationship for that matter), when it only exists in fantasy. The moment it begins in practice, we are inevitably disappointed, because reality can never precisely match imagination. Now, I am not talking about soul crushing, complete and utter disappointment, the sort

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