Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

Tag: D/s

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General

Appearance Is Not The Foundation of Female Dominance

‘You want me, but you can’t have me. You’re not worthy,’ whispers the latex-clad dominatrix stereotype with her over-lined red lips. Her power stems in the fact she is an object of visual attraction. She is perfectly unattainable and therefore all the more desirable – a goddess on a pedestal

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BDSM Advice and Education

Why ‘Force Me To Submit’ Can Be A Red Flag

‘I need someone to force me to submit’ is yet another sentiment which shows up in my inbox surprisingly often. It has rubbed me the wrong way for as long as I can remember, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. After all, the rhetoric of force weaves itself

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BDSM Advice and Education

The Sub / Domme Ratio

‘The ratio’ of dommes to subs is a myth. So, why do so many male subs claim that finding a domme is impossible?

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BDSM Advice and Education

Defining 24/7 and TPE

I would describe my dynamic as 24/7 TPE. This is often misunderstood, so I thought I’d attempt a definition.  First things first, it is worth nothing ’24/7′ and ‘TPE’ are two separate (although naturally interlinked) concepts. 24/7 refers to a dynamic in which there is no ‘off switch’. This means

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Memories

Making Him Ask for Punishment

Here’s a psychological experiment from fairly early on in our dynamic. ‘Turn your head,’ I said. He stared at me, side eyed and unmoving. I eyed him with mounting disapproval. ‘I’ll give you one more chance. Turn. Your. Head.’ Nothing. He was afraid I would bite him, leaving those blotchy

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On Sadism: The Smile

There is a smile I smile whenever I am in a sadistic vein. I can’t help it. It’s entirely involuntary. I can just feel my face doing it. I have tried to stop it. It’s impossible. My face is just set on doing it. I thought about it somewhat today,

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On Mind Games

I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to explore some of the darker, CNC parts of D/s, which has included quite a lot of rather delicious mind fuckery. The high has been intense and beautiful. It has however proven surprisingly difficult to talk about, because the first question

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Why I Dislike The ‘Narrative of Punishment’

Amongst the huge volume of badly written, presumptuous mental bio-hazards which end up in my inbox, ‘punish me, Mistress‘ is one which crops up exceedingly often. Every time I open a message like this, even before the exasperation manages to catch up to me, is just the thought ‘for what?!’

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‘Ask me anything’

I have been answering quite a large volume of messages recently, and I thought I would write some posts on the things which bother me most often, and why. I would think I am not the only Domme who is bothered by these, but your mileage may vary. ‘Ask me

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